


Conflicted

by castlealbion



Category: Dunkirk (2017), Dunkirk (2017) RPF, Jack Lowden - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, certain gorgeous men stripping down to their scants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 09:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13385226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castlealbion/pseuds/castlealbion
Summary: Based on an anon request for a fic where Harry has a thing for Y/N, but Y/N has a thing for Jack. No one knows what Jack is thinking and Harry gets a bit cut up.





	Conflicted

**Author's Note:**

> I'm giving Jack sisters, don't know if he actually has any but since it suits my purposes for this fic he has a couple.

CONFLICTED  
It was a blisteringly hot day to be out on the water with barely a square meter of cover to shade you from the sun. The reflection from the water was bright enough to keep you squinting as you worked, and it was impeding your ability to do your job properly. There was a line of boys on your boat all waiting to be touched up, which honestly wasn't hard since they were all just supposed to be wet, cold and covered in oil.  
You finished with one, motioning with your makeup brush for the next in line.   
“Hey gorgeous!” Harry plopped himself down in the chair, having deftly sidestepped the next guy in line.  
You fake glared at him, sending the displaced youth to another makeup artist. He simply grinned up you, feigning innocence.  
“Harry.” you muttered, getting to work on his face.  
“You know you love having me in your chair, admit it. I make your day brighter just by being here.”  
“Harry Styles, you really are too much. Sit still would you?”  
He was fun to have in your chair, but exasperating. He had the energy of an untrained puppy, all squirming and grinning and you often had to admonish him to sit still so you could actually work. His flirting was a little harder to deal with, a shy person by nature, you were very taken aback by his unabashed attempts to make you blush. He was relentless and teasing and good natured and you couldn't help but adore him.  
Which was the problem. You weren't stupid and you could see clearly that he had a bit of a thing for you. He’d made no secret of it, not even bothered to try. But you didn't feel the same way, you could see yourself being friends but you just weren't attracted to him romantically. So far you had done your best to try and let him down gently but he hadn't taken the hint. Even when you had blatantly referred to him as a brotherly friend on the phone to your pals back home, he still persisted.  
Honestly it probably would have been easier if he had been more aggressive in his approach because then it would have been easy to crush him underfoot. Instead you felt guilt gnawing at you daily because he was just so open and eager, he didn't push, didn't keep asking you out, didn't grope or revert to gross innuendos. He just called you gorgeous, praised you, gave you hugs and talked.   
You wished you could feel differently.  
As Harry chatted away about how much fun he was having in his first acting role you felt a prickle on the back of your neck. Deliberately calming your breath you turned to see a set of blue eyes looking at you intently. Just because you expected to see him there didn't make his appearance any less disturbing to you.  
And there was the second part of your problem.  
While your feelings for Harry were completely platonic, you definitely couldn't say the same about your feelings for Jack. From the moment he’d sat in your chair you'd been a goner and you couldn't quite come to terms with it. Different from Harry in every way Jack touched you somehow, from his quiet eyes to the Scottish lilt that made your knees weak. The tall blonde man wasn't your usual type, tall, dark and handsome had always been your weakness, so where this had come from you had no bloody idea.   
Unlike Harry, Jack played his cards close to his chest, always warm and calm around you. He often sat in the chair and would tell you Scottish folk tales after you’d mentioned your love for British folklore. Once or twice he had sat beside you at lunch or joined you at the hotel bar while you ate your dinner, never encroaching on you or being more than friendly. For the life of you, couldn’t quantify the connection you had. You knew you felt some kind of way about him, something beyond the initial attraction. Something warm, tender and strong, with butterflies in your tummy whenever you caught sight of him.  
Your feelings for the men were as different as the men themselves, but you wished you knew where you stood with either of them, really. Beyond the flirting you had no idea what Harry’s true intentions were, not that it mattered. And Jack, he was as unreadable as a poker player. It could be that you were pulling yourself to pieces for no reason at all.  
Turning back to Harry you put the finishing touches on his “oily” face.   
“So luv, what are your grand plans tonight, me and the lads are going out on the town, you should come with.”  
“What can there possibly be in town that’s worth going out for?”  
“The usual, a few drinks, some dancing, see where that all goes.” He raised his brows with a smile, his meaning clear.   
He really was quite adorable, and you felt a pang that you couldn’t feel the same for him as he did for you. You could have had fun with Harry, even if just for a while.  
“I can’t Harry, sorry. I haven’t been feeling well and I’m just going to lay down and rest in my room.”  
Which wasn’t a lie, and you knew your face conveyed that. It was your time of the month, you’d felt it coming on all day, the dragging sensation, the prick in your lower back, the fatigue and the desire to cry at every pretty bird that flew overhead. By tonight you would be in bed with a hot water bottle, room service and a marathon of Gilmore Girls on your laptop, no doubt wishing you were dead.  
“Are you sure, luv?” he looked disappointed but still optimistic. “Both Toms and even Jack are coming, it’s going to be laugh.”  
Your heart clenched at the sound of Jack’s name, you would love to go if Jack was going to be there, but not at the expense of Harry. You cared about him too much for that.  
“I’m sure, Harry. You guys go have a fun boy’s night, you don’t need a woman along cramping your style.” And speaking of cramps, your face pinched as one hit your lower belly like a knife and doubled you over for a moment.  
“Christ, are you ok?” the concern in his voice was breaking your heart.  
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. All womankind live through it, I just need to take some paracetamol.”  
Whatever he’d been about to say was cut off when the AD called his name.  
“Right then, back to the grind.” he flashed a smile at you and was gone, leaving you shaking your head in bemusement.  
All the extras had been taken care of and you took a minute to get some painkiller from your bag, washing it down with a whole bottle of water. It really was stupidly hot.  
“Y/N?” The AD was behind you, looking apologetic. “I know you need a break but Lowden needs work done, can you take care of it?”  
You smiled through the butterflies, that now mixed with the feeling of stabbing knives.  
“Sure, send him over.”  
He was already there, sitting in the chair with his leg bouncing up and down like it always did when he was forced to sit around doing nothing.  
“Sorry, lass. I know ye need a break. I think it all jus sweated off.”  
Indeed it had. You bit your lip to hold back a giggle at the sight of him. He was supposed to be all pale and cold looking so whoever had done him that morning had gone lighter than his already white skin tone, leaving him now with grayish streaks sweating down his face and into the napkins he’d shoved in around the neck of costume to stop it from being ruined.   
“It’s all gotta go, Jack, sorry. I’ll have to start from scratch.”  
You reached for the makeup remover wipes that you kept in a cooler, doubling over again for a moment as another cramp hit.  
“Are ye ok Y/N?” One of his hands had wrapped around your wrist gently, thumb stroking the back of your hand soothingly. “Ye’re as white as a sheet.”  
“I’m ok, really.” You stood up straight, the cramp passing and moved to stand in front of him. “This may be a little cold.”  
The sound that Jack made when the cold wipe hit his skin should have been illegal. Part moaning grunt, part blissful sigh and loud enough to have everyone on the boat looking in your direction. His eyes had fluttered closed, mouth open as he made it again, sending a jolt all the way down to your toes. For a moment you wondered, was this what he sounded like when he….? Shaking your head you put a stop to that thinking, at least for now. It wouldn’t do to get all hot and bothered with the man himself within touching distance.  
You took as much time as you could wiping his face, for his benefit as well as your own. As long as his eyes were closed you could study his face without fear of being caught. By now you were familiar with every line, every crease, every mark. You loved his nose, the perfect straightness of it, the crinkles around his eyes that showed how much he smiled, the dimples that appeared when he did and his mouth. You’d had dreams about his mouth with the crooked and pouty bottom lip and his habit of sticking his damn tongue out constantly didn’t help.  
You were a mess, he was making you a mess. Another cramp had you hissing and cursing under your breath, wishing the medicine would hurry up and kick in already. His eyes opened, full of concern as he looked you over.  
“Lass, ye donnae look well, maybe ye should lay down, someone else can do this.”  
“I’m fine Jack, really.” you smiled wanly. “It’s nothing that every other woman doesn’t have to go through, I’ll live.”  
You broke off, hot with embarrassment as you realised what you’d said.  
“Sorry, that was really inappropriate.” you muttered, concentrating on mixing the foundation for his face and refusing to look at him.  
“I haf sisters, no like I’ve never had experience. Mah one sister had tae take the day off school every time hers came she would suffer so much. Jus because it’s common doesna mean ye can’t admit yer in pain and take care o yerself, lass.”  
“I’ll be laying down later, it won’t get bad for a few hours yet. Now hush before I make you look all drowned and half dead.”  
He pursed his lips in disapproval before chuckling at your comment. To your relief there were no more cramps as you worked on his face, not that he needed much. The gray had been a mistake, he wasn’t supposed to be dead, just wet and cold. Thankfully he hadn’t been on camera yet that day so you didn’t have to replicate it. Instead you made him look ruddy-cheeked with just a hint of paleness around his lips. No way you were letting this gorgeous man on camera looking like a zombie. Women, and men, were going to be looking at Jack on Imax, all falling in love with him, exactly the way it should be.  
“Ok, I think you’re done.” You replaced the napkins around his neck, trying not to enjoy the feel of his warm, smooth skin under your fingers. “Harry tells me you boys are all going out on the town tonight.”  
“Harry told ye tha, hm?” there was a tightness in his voice that you put down to his unwillingness to partake of the activity.  
“Just don’t drink too much and come to me looking all haggard and hungover tomorrow, I’m not a miracle worker and even I can’t erase bags under your eyes.” You laughed as you put your tools away, enjoying his responding guffaw. “I promise I’ll no come tae ye lookin like shite. Make sure ye get some rest, yeah?”  
His hand was on your shoulder, turning you to look at him. You were caught in his gaze as he waited for your reassurance.  
“I promise, nothing but rest for me tonight.”  
He squeezed your shoulder before heading off, leaving you standing there breathless and wanting.  
As always.  
The afternoon sun was high in the sky as they filmed take after take, planes flying overhead. The meds had finally kicked in and you felt a lot better, especially after lunch and unless someone needed touching up you were free to lay in the shade on your boat with a book.  
“So, have you thought anymore about coming out with us tonight?” Harry was beside you, scarfing down a sandwich and talking with his mouth full.  
“No, I’m not going. I meant it when I said I wasn’t feeling well.”  
“Your breaking my heart love.” he grabbed at his chest dramatically, causing you to giggle.  
“You’re young, you’ll live.”  
“Heartless wench.”  
“That’s me, ice cold baby. Go do what you have to do before you get me into trouble.”  
“Oh, I can get you into trouble alright.” he waggled his brows in a ridiculous fashion.  
“Piss off Styles.” you laughed.   
He moved off, loudly complaining about the heartlessness of women in general, earning himself several sympathetic pats from his buddies while you just shook your head.   
Another hour passed, filming was taking place on a half-sunk minesweeper and all the action was off to that side of the boats. The main cast on set were hanging out on the deck of one boat, Barry sleeping, Cillian and Mark playing cards, Tom and Jack just looking miserable, even after they’d changed into civies.   
Harry was on your boat, again, he was still going to be needed. He was sitting with Finn, deep in conversation and thankfully leaving you alone for the time being. With the way you felt, you didn’t think you could handle much more, much as you cared about him. He was too perky, too gung ho and far too….Harry, for your current state of mind. What you needed was peace, quiet and a cuddle, and 2 out of three was actually pretty good odds for later.  
A shout came from the cast boat, causing you to sit up and glance over.   
You immediately wished you hadn’t.  
You couldn’t stop your mouth from falling open as you watched Tom and Jack pulling their t-shirts off over their heads. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’d known Jack was all long lean lines of pale skin, but that hadn’t prepared you for the reality. He was a lot fitter than you had thought, not built, not muscular but strong looking, streamlined despite the broadness of his shoulders. You hadn’t expected the darker hair on his chest, for some reason his baby face always made you assume he was smooth. That was not going to help you at all, you thought, unconsciously licking your lips as he stood up from removing his shoes, stretching his arms above his head.  
Tom had already shimmied out of his plaid shorts, and stood looking at Jack expectantly. Jack seemed to hesitate for a moment, looking around and just for a moment you could have sworn he looked right at you, a slow, sultry smile curling his lips before he turned, sliding his own shorts over thighs that were far too thick and masculine for your comfort. It was all you could do to stop from moaning out loud, going so far as to bite your lip, hard. You were only able to appreciate the sight of him, clad in nothing but black Calvin Klein boxer briefs for only a few seconds before both he and Tom jumped off the side of the boat with a yell.  
You didn’t even notice Harry staring at you from his perch beside Finn, mouth twisted with disappointment and hurt.  
Much later, after the day’s filming was done and certain green-tinted actors had been dragged back onto the boats, Harry came to sit beside you quietly.  
“So, it’s Jack, isn’t it?” he said softly, causing you to gasp.  
“I….ummm….Harry…”  
Really, what could you say? To deny it would only give him a hope you couldn’t offer, but to admit it…..  
“It’s ok, Y/N, really. I won’t tell anyone.”  
“I’m sorry, Harry.” you murmured, feeling like dirt.  
“I’m not going to lie, it hurts, but not the way it should. I really like you, I know I’ve been kind of a relentless asshole about it, but I do. But, and this kinda hurts my ego to say, you are far too good for me.”  
“Don’t say things like that Harry, please.” If anything he was too good for you. You could have just set him straight firmly, from the outset, but you hadn’t. His interest had been flattering at first and by the time you go got know him you hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. You were kind of an awful person in your mind.  
“Don’t worry luv, I don’t mean that way. Although you are amazing, don’t ever doubt that. What I meant was, you are good, kind, deep….you’re the kind of girl to settle down with. You deserve someone who wants that too. It’s not me. No matter how much I like you, honestly, it’s not me. I’m not ready to settle down, and if you had liked me back, I think it would have ended with you being hurt, and I’m sorry for that.”  
“Sorry for the possibility that you may have hurt be over the fact that I actually have hurt you? You make no sense Harry.”  
“I’m honestly not that hurt, at least I won’t be in a little while. I’m disappointed and my ego has taken a bit of a hit that the prettiest girl on set prefers my mate to me. But all in all, I hope we are friends, at least?”  
“Always.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, not caring who saw. “I’m sorry.”  
He pulled away, visibly puffing out his chest, shaking off his melancholy.  
“As your friend, I’ll tell you something, honestly. You couldn’t find a better man than Jack, he doesn’t play and he is definitely the settling down type.”  
You laughed, a pang shooting through your heart.  
“Too bad he doesn’t like me the way you do.”  
“Eh, Jack’s a mysterious one, I don’t think many people know for sure what’s going on in that head of his. All I’m saying is don’t give up.”  
You nodded, knowing your pain over Jack was karmic retribution for how Harry was feeling in that moment. You deserved it. Deserved to hurt. You remained quiet all the way back to the hotel, thankful you were always on a crew bus for transport. No one bothered you as you made your way to your room, showering the sweat and grime of the day away. You felt marginally better as you dried off and changed into your pyjamas, heating water in a kettle for your water bottle. You didn’t feel like eating, even though you knew you should, instead setting out a little pile of snacks on the bed next to you. The cramps were starting to come hard now, front and back and you doubled your dose of paracetamol, knowing your body well. Although not well enough to pack a second fucking water bottle, though huffily as you pulled back the covers, ready to climb into bed.  
The knock at the door had you using words that would make a sailor blush.  
Shuffling over, you opened it a crack, ready to give whoever was there a piece of your mind. Instead you simply gaped as you opened it wider to reveal Jack, freshly showered, his arms full, smiling uncertainty at you.  
“Ahm, I know ye aren’t feelin well and I thought I would...ahm...bring ye summan tae help make ye feel better?”  
“Oh, ok then, come on in.”  
You closed the door behind him, watching as he walked over to the dresser, wondering what exactly was in the bags.  
“So ahm, I brought ye another bottle, I sometimes use it fer ma back. I know ma sister has tae use two sometimes. And I brought ye some ahm chocolate, and dinner, cause I didna know if ye were goin tae order. Oh and this little guy.” he turned, with a strange looking plastic object in his hand. “Ye can turn it on and it vibrates, uhm ye can put it on yer back….” he trailed off, looking uncomfortable.  
You stepped over, looking at the containers of Indian food he’d brought with him, your heart twisting at his thoughtfulness. He really was a genuinely good guy.  
“Is there enough for two? I hate eating alone.” You chuckled to make it sound like a joke, when you really just wanted him to stay.  
“Sure darlin, there’s plenty. I’ll get ye sorted, go lay down.”  
You sat on the bed, bottle at your back watching him as he filled the kettle and arranged food onto takeaway plates. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, even when you tried, even when he brought you the other bottle, one brow raised quizzically. Even in track pants and a plain tshirt he was still gorgeous, how he managed it so effortlessly you had no idea. His hair was drying fast and without styling product it was nothing more than a golden fluffy cloud around his head. Your fingers itched to touch it.  
Instead you silently took the plate and fork he gave you, trying not to have your stomach jump into your throat as he sat on your bed at your feet.  
“Aren’t you supposed to be going out tonight with the others?” You finally managed around a mouthful of samosa.  
“I begged off, wasn’t really all tha delighted tae be goin in the first place. Told them I wasna feelin well after the dip we took earlier.”  
“Liar.” you chuckled.  
“Hey, ye begged off too.”  
“Do I look well to you?” you laughed.  
He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn’t quite catch except for the words ‘fine’ and ‘lovely’.  
“What was that?”  
“Nothin, lass. How’s the bottle helpin?”  
It was helping great having the two of them, but it still made you feel embarrassed to be so openly discussing your period pain with the man you were gone on. He must have noticed your discomfort because he chuckled, patting your bare ankle.  
“I’d be a poor excuse fer a man if I were all awkward and unfeelin about a natural part o life. I’ve been tae the store and bought tampons before, is no big deal.”  
He was going to make some woman very happy one day.  
A wave of cramps in your lower back chose that moment to render you breathless and you suddenly curled in on yourself in agony, Jack quickly grabbing your plate away. You were gasping, trying to push the bottle closer to the pain but it was relentless and tears pricked at your eyes. Hands were on your shoulders, easing you up into a sitting position. You felt Jack slide behind you, sitting back until his legs were on either side of you.  
“Lay back on me, I used tae do this fer ma ex, she always said it helped.”  
The pain was bad enough to eclipse any rational feelings, and you did as he asked, leaning back against his chest, letting him position the bottle higher on your back between your bodies. He urged you to stretch your your legs, placing your ams over the bottle on your stomach. The moment you felt his knuckles digging into your lower back in a hard rolling motion you wanted to weep with relief. Both hands went to work, knowing exactly where to exert pressure to ease the pain.   
He wasn’t human, he was some kind of God sent by female Gods for this exact purpose and his fucking hands were magic. You couldn’t even begin to contemplate your position, all your focus was on his knuckles as they kept up what had to be a painful rhythm.   
The pain eased, or the meds kicked in several minutes later and your body relaxed. Feeling this, Jack moved the bottle down again, flexing his fingers before they cramped.  
“Where did you learn to do that?”  
“I dunno, I guess just watchin mah sister dig intae her back with her knuckles when she got cramps. I tried it wi ma ex one day and it worked.”  
“You could make an absolute fortune marketing that skill.”  
“In case I fail as an actor?” he chuckled, one hand rubbing your arm gently.  
“You won’t fail at that, not from what I’ve seen.”  
There was a moment of silence where you wondering exactly what was happening. Jack had made no attempt to move away or leave, even though you were clearly feeling better. Instead he seemed perfectly content, his breath rushing over the top of your head, even with a hot water bottle positioned right at his crotch, which couldn’t be comfortable.  
“Ye have such faith in me, lass.” he said softly, just his fingertips sliding along your arm now, your breath hitching. “ Can I tell ye summan?”  
“Sure.”   
“Harry told me tae stay back tonight.”  
Shit, you’d been afraid of that. Afraid your talk would cause bad blood between the two mates.  
“Did he say why?” Did you even want to know?  
“He said ye needed me. That you guys had, had a talk today?”  
“We did.” you said hesitantly.  
“He said that he figured out it wasna goin tae be thing between ye and he was movin on.”  
“That’s pretty much it.”  
“I knew he liked ye, Y/N, I kept out of it because I didna wan tae tread on ma mate.”  
“I don’t understand.”  
You felt his chest rumble with silent laughter against your back.  
“I like ye too, a lot. But Harry met ye first, and his interest was clear, I couldn’t do tha to me mate. But it’s been killin me, and I couldna stay away. I was never an accident that I was at the bar when you were. I wanted so many times tae tell ye, but I couldn’t. I never knew what was goin on wi you and him.”  
“Nothing was.” you said quietly. “Nothing ever was, he’s like my brother.”  
“I was jealous, ye were so comfortable around him. I hated keepin it to meself.”  
“You’re a good friend, Jack.” He liked you! He was jealous. Your heart was soaring.  
“Not when I’m having thoughts like tha about a mate’s girl.”  
“I was never his girl, Jack.”  
“Ye know wha I mean, there’s no way to say it without it comin out sexist. It’s a guy code.”  
“We girls have the same code.”  
“So when we got back tae the hotel, Harry came tae see me. Said you guys had talked. Summan about him not bein the settlin down kind…..I dunno, I kinda blanked out after he said you were jus goin tae be friends. But then he said I should stay back, come take care of ye, that ye would want me to.”  
“He said that did he?”  
“Aye, he said I shouldna worry bout steppin on his toes and tha it wasna him ye had feelins fer.”  
Damn you Harry, you thought, he was a far better man than he gave himself credit for.  
“That’s what he said?”  
“Mmm hm, tha’s wha he said.” Jack’s head had lowered, his mouth beside your ear, the fingers of one hand tracing the length of yours where the rested on your belly. “Is it true? Ye have feelins fer me?”  
You closed your eyes, a gush of air escaping you as you shivered. You had to be having some kind of periods induced hallucination, no way this was actually happening.  
Right?  
Jack shifted his body on the bed, sitting down lower, your head now on his shoulder. One arm tilted your body, wrapping around you until you could look up into his face.  
“Hey there.” he smiled, sending butterflies through your whole body.  
You gulped, meeting his eyes, seeing affection for you shining brightly.   
“Hi.” you answered shyly.  
“So what do ye think? You and me, could we be a thing?”  
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, loving the bigger smile that split his face.  
“Right then.” he whispered, moment before he leaned down, sliding his lips against yours softly, then harder as you immediately responded, groaning when his tongue traced across the seam of your mouth.  
Your tongue slid against his in a move that you made your toes curl through the pain, his lips were soft, damp and he kissed with the same skill he’d shown on your back. You sensed him holding back, no doubt because of your current state, and you wished he wouldn’t. Your body had other ideas though and you pulled away from him with a moan as your back cramped again, not as bad, but still enough to make you twist in his arms.  
“It’s alright, lass, I got ye.” He whispered, positioning you against him, his knuckles back on your muscles, easing the ache.   
Some time later, the pain easing again, nestled warm in his arms, you found yourself drifting off to sleep.  
You were looking forward to getting used to this.


End file.
